Win Friends and Make Them Think Like You
Introduction
Why have I written this? That is a very eligible question to ask and indeed it will be answered. Each of us thrives to be important in some way or another. Let's be honest with ourselves here – we humans tend to measure importance by our social status among friends or family while for some of us it's what we achieve during life and as for others it might be their financial success.
No matter what it is, the following is true. Most people tend to measure their importance by the recognition they receive from the people around them. Yes, we all strive to be on top each and every day of our lives.
Over the last couple of years I've been reasoning to myself that my own self-importance is determined by what I have achieved and will be evaluated by what I will achieve. Unfortunately for me this was wrong, but fortunately the real way of doing this is much, much more beneficial. I've decided to bring over to you what has taken me three years to discover.
In order to continue however you must understand that the principles discussed here need to be practiced and of you will be required to have a desire to learn how to affect the people around you in a way that will be beneficial to both parties. In essence; how to convince people to your way of thinking.
At first living up to these principles might not be so easy and often what is required is just a repetition of the rules. In other words I suggest that you come back to this document frequently just to refresh your mind. Remember that we learn by a method and one method only – R E P E T I T I O N.
Become Interested in People
Hellen Keller, a blind and deaf American author once said: "Until the great mass of the people shall be filled with the sense of responsibility for each other's welfare, social justice can never be attained."
Before you continue reading take up those words and think about them for a moment. Think about the significance thereof. What does it actually entail?
No matter how wrong we are we will never blame ourselves unless we really have no choice while we'll always try shifting the blame to someone else. It's just human nature. It's a shame really that we must tend to seek fault in individuals, constantly criticising and breaking each other down.
The secret has already been revealed – people like hearing their own names, seeing their own faces, receiving personal pride much, much more than handing it out to others but if only we could stop condeming other people and start seeing things from their perspective. That and only that is the way of winning people's trust and recognition – by becoming interested in the people around us and giving them the recognition and the feeling of self-importance.
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
Don't criticize or complain, give honest and sincere appreciation.
Arouse a Want in the Person
There are many perfect examples of people who change another person's behaviour and/or thought by making that person want to do so. We see it all the time when parents want their children to clean their room they offer them money in exchange. This works especially because we have to look at the individual's wants and needs and try compensating for it.
It's really simple, the child wants money and the father (for example) wants his car to be washed once every second week. A win-win situation.
Conclusion
In history many of the greatest leaders all had one thing in common – they had the ability to change people's perspectives and made them want things they didn't want before.
Little things can make a big difference and being friendly in small little ways can create wonders around your life and your popularity among friends will prosper.
This, too, was one of the secrets of Theodore Roosevelt’s astonishing popularity. Even his servants loved him. His valet, James E. Amos, wrote a book about him entitled Theodore Roosevelt, Hero to His Valet. In that book Amos relates this illuminating incident:
My wife one time asked the President about a bobwhite. She had never seen one and he described it to her fully. Sometime later, the telephone at our cottage rang. [Amos and his wife lived in a little cottage on the Roosevelt estate at Oyster Bay.] My wife answered it and it was Mr. Roosevelt himself. He had called her, he said, to tell her that there was a bobwhite outside her window and that if she would look out she might see it. Little things like that were so characteristic of him. Whenever he went by our cottage, even though we were out of sight, we would hear him call out, ‘Oo-oo-oo, Annie?’ or ‘Oo-oo-oo, James!’ It was just a friendly greeting as he went by.
So next time you're thinking of complaining try to be more understanding and respectful and you'll find that you and the people around you will be a lot happier.